When Twinkles met Sally

Well here I am roving reporter for "The Animals of TARG" catching up with the most dapper member of the crew: Mr Twinkles. Read what happened when "Twinks" as he is affectionately known, met up for a few jars.

Word and Pictures by Dr S Adams, BSc (hons), MSc, PhD


What makes your eyes light up and Twinkle?
Emily (All hail the finder of Bananas), the big office  

Many things.  Long walks in the rain, finding loose change down the back of the sofa, snuggles, John Hughes films (esp. The Breakfast Club), that orange juice with the bits in, pub/clubbing (not seals, sorry Lettuce).

Which member or TARG would you shag, marry, and push off Clifton suspension bridge?
Dr Williams, USA  

Dear Thomas thank you for your question, it's lovely to see non-TARG members getting involved with this ridiculous malarkey. I would most like to marry -well it's a secret, read on!, what is this shag? OK, Sally just explained. I think I would love special time with Emma H, she looks warm. I like to push all of TARG of the bridge sometimes, but if push came to shove (ha ha, see what I did there) it would have to be M-dawg, I mean what's he ever done for me? 

Mr Twinkle are you going to see Matthew Bournes Sleeping Beauty....its oh so twinkling good? 
Auntie Pat, Birmingham  

Well Auntie Pat, I am hoping Sally might invite me. If not I'm going to sneak in her bag anyway, I am a massive fan or the arts and I get no stimulation here. For all the pleasure I get from conversing with Sally and Jennifer I might as well be talking to myself. I look forward to meeting a like minded soul like you. 

Can you shed any light on what goes on in 5D29 after hours?
Ware-bear, 5D29  

You know I can't tell you that Jennifer, I would have to kill you....

Do any other of the TARG animals make your twinkle, twinkle?
Ms Harrison, Oakfield House for broken women

Oh yes! I was so heartbroken went Bananas left like that without any explanation. We've been through so much together: MRI scans and Sally's tantrums to name a few. Now he is back my days are filled with joy again. Also, do you want to know a secret? I am thinking of proposing now the new law has been passed. Watch this space for a TARG animal wedding.  

Who shot Tupac? 
EJH, Essex   

At the time I was running around with a crew know as " Bright eyes" , I was into some crazy shit. I heard a rumour that a chap called Biggie Smalls may have been involved, he employed a gang solely comprised of neglected hamsters and I think it was those beasties that were hired as the heavies to kill poor 'ole 2pac. 

Why did you decide to join the Bloods rather than the Crips? 
Samuel Merry, Cheltenham 

Red is my so my colour , plus I've still got love for my incarcerated buddy Batman aka Evil Bat (Mad Swan Bloods). Of course gang membership offers one a sense of belonging and protection, TARG is a prime example of this.

 If you could be any other animal what would you be? 
 Gwen Safari, 5D29

A honey badger, cos honey badger don't give a s**t! I sometimes think that Jen and Sally (my office-mates) don't treat me very well and force me to live on a diet of tea cakes, milk tray and white wine. If I were a honey badger I could say what I want and not give a f**king monkey's!